One Year Ago Today My Mother Died

The Day my Mom Died – September 19, 2008

Friday has become Mama Day, the day each week that I spend with Jake and Sam.  I had to take the Jaguar to the shop early that morning for an 8:30 oil change.  I stopped by Mom’s apartment on the way home.  Mom had been declining rapidly for the last several days.  My sister Vicki had been sleeping on the sofa in Mom’s living room.  Vicki told me Mom was not being very responsive today.   We found a box of pictures and sorted through them as we visited.  

Other than the stop at Mom’s it started off as any other Mama Day.  Lot’s of hugs and stories about what had been going on in their life the past week.  Flavius and his crews had gone to 4 – 10 hour work days so they had Friday off.  Flay decided a big pot of chicken corn chowder would taste good for supper.  Plus he is always looking for some excuse to go to Sam’s Wholesale Club.   The boys were playing in the toy room so I took that pocket of time to start going through my own pictures.  Little did I know that this would be the day she died and we would need those pictures for a picture board at her funeral.

Sam was still not saying many words and really not putting sentences together.  So when he said “me eat cookie” I told Jake we need to call Papa and tell him to pick up some cookies for Sam.  Jake could not wait to call him and so I told him the number and the little rascal called all by himself for the first time.  He gave the phone to Sam and Sam told Flavius “me eat BLUE cookie”.  Well you know Papa was bringing home blue cookies no matter what it took. 

I continued to sort through more pictures when Flay arrived home with the requested cookies.  The boys (including Flavius) were having cookies and milk while I was showing Flay the picture and taking a trip down memory lane.   About that time the phone rang and it was Vicki.  Hosprice was at the apartment and had advised Vicki that mom would not make it more than a few hours. 

I dropped everything and ran out the front door so the boys would not see that I was gone.  When I got to the apartment the lady from Hosparice said it could be as much as 24 hours but she would be surprised if it was more that 4 to 6 hours.  Our brother Danny arrived shortly after me and then our cousin Peggy.  Flavius made the call to our son Brandon.   Everyone started making calls to loved ones and everyone began to gather in. 

I called Flay because I really wanted him there with me and he said Brandon was on his way from work to get the boys.  I really wanted Brandon and Amy and Jake and Sam there as well but I did not know how Amy and Brandon felt about that.  Amy had called and talked to her Mom who felt the same way that I did.  I think it is good for them to experience the grieving process and see how we all feel.  So Brandon and Amy picked up the kids and joined us at Mom’s apartment.  Flavius brought over a huge pot of Chicken Corn Chowder soup and the “comfort with food”  a May family tradition.  It was very comforting. 

Brandon and Amy and the boys arrived.  Sam of course being only 2 years old did not have any understanding of what was going on.  Jake wanted to go in and say goodby to “Little Mamoo” .  It was very sweet.  He told her good-by and that he loved her.  He had some tears in his eyes and seemed to really understand what was happening.  We gathered around and told stories.  We laughed and we cried and drew comfort from just being together.   We ate soup and looked at pictures.   We all wandered in and out of her room as the “death rattles” got louder.  With each of us three kids it seemed especially hard when our own adult children arrived.   Nathan was out with friends and asked Vicki to go in and tell mama that he loved her because he was afraid he would not get back in time.  Mom was unconscious the whole time but Vicki broke as she leaned over mom’s body to whisper in her ear “Nathan said to tell you he loves you”. 

Jake was going through “Little Mamoo’s” things as he always did when he came to visit.  He found a bag of her gold pens that she wore on her sweaters.  He asked “will Little Mamoo need this golden in Heaven? “  I said no she will be walking on streets of gold.  He said “then can I have this? 

We really did not know if Mom would make it just a few more hours or maybe until the next morning.  The grandkids had gone home.  Danny and Linda, Vicki, Peggy and Bill and Travis and Flavius and myself where all that was left.  It was around 11pm and I said I was going home to take out my contact lenses and get my glasses and come back to spend the night.  Danny said he would run home as well and lock up his house and be back.  We had been sitting with Mom since about 3pm.  When we left, Vicki left mom’s room and went to the kitchen.  I guess mom was waiting for just the right minute because while we were all gone from her room she passed away. 

We had barely walked in our door when the phone rang.  It was Peggy and she said to get back quick Mom was going fast.  By the time we got there she was already gone.  No more rattles….no more deep breathing.  We all gathered around her bed and prayed and cried.  She was now with her Saviour.   And we can only imagine.

The article below was from our YTB newsletter.

Winner’s Circle Travel

Team Newsletter

 
Candi May                          September 21, 2008

I hope you all will indulge me in writing about my Mother this week.  She has gone to her eternal reward after a full life of service to the Lord.  For those of you that did not know my Mom I would like to share with you a little bit about her life.  Many obituaries say flowery things like the first couple of sentences above, things about service, and rewards.  It is almost a “fill in the blanks” template for all obituaries.  But I must tell you that with my Mom it was 100% true.  

From my earliest memories Mom always worked in Child Evangelism.  She taught children’s church every Sunday.  And she loved every minute of it.  She always had a heart for children and they were drawn to her. Her ministry has reached and touched so many.  With my YTB experience I can see that Coach has used his background in ministry as an example for this business structure.  The plan that God instituted for spreading the gospel was put into action by my Mother.  I cannot begin to tell you the number of people that her life has touched for the Lord.  And it is such a “viral” plan.  There are many people today that are Ministers, Missionaries, Sunday School Teachers,  Music Directors etc. that were affected directly and indirectly because of my Mom’s service to the Lord.  Maybe they were never in her class.  They might never have met her.  But she may have been instrumental in reaching the person that won them to the Lord or inspired them to go into the ministry.  And now they are reaching many more for the Kingdom.   

This is a comment from the guest book in the online obituary from one of many she touched.  

The investment your Mom made in me is still felt in my life so many years later. I received Christ under her ministry in the basement of Dixie Valley . She invested in many young people and I can only imagine her rewards today are great. I can’t remember a lot of details about children’s church but I do remember I never wanted to miss. She created an environment that was relevant for us and many lives were changed. I wish I could be there to pay my respects. I am confident it will be a sweet celebration. Blessings,
Vonda

Vonda Hudson (Trinity, FL) 

 Can you imagine her “downline” for Heaven?  I am not making fun.  I am completely serious.  And talk about residual income.  We may have it good in YTB with residual income through infinity but Gods plan is residual through ETERNITY!  She is receiving her reward now for things she did years ago.  

 Mathew 6:20 says But lay up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where neither moth nor rust doth corrupt, and where thieves do not break through nor steal.

 Every year there is a contest with YTB for the Coach’s Birthday Bash.  We know the deadline and work hard to make it in to the elite group and receive the reward.    The thing with our eternal reward is we don’t know the deadline.  For Mom it was September 19, 2008.